Wednesday, February 20, 2008

the N word

Again, another one where you have to click the title to get to the story.
This very issue pisses me off beyond belief. I don't understand why so much controversy revolves around this one word. I mean, yea, I get why it's a "bad word" and all, but why did black people pick this word to be the one that is precious and adopt it as a part of their everyday language. I know that not all black people use it. I know most are offended by its use, but I have never seen a black person go up to a group of black people using that word and ask them to stop. Here's my main gripe, my nine-year-old son has black friends. There are black teenagers and kids and even adults up and down our street who use that word....loudly. What's gonna happen when my son uses that word because he doesn't know that he's "not supposed to"? Well, here's what will happen: those people will assume that he comes from a racist family and assume that WE taught him that word. NOTHING could be further from the truth. We NEVER EVER use that word!! I even jumped my father-in-law's butt for using that word around my kids because it is offensive TO ME and just ignorant and I don't want that word to be a part of my children's vocabulary!! My father-in-law is 64 and I don't care that he says he's "from a different time." It's time he learned that it's not okay!! The truth of the matter is that if my son walked up to a group of black people and used that word, it would be because he heard black people saying it....loudly!!!! GRRR! Yes, I have already talked to him about it and I have also talked to his friends (black and white) and informed them that that language (just like any other bad word) is not allowed in my house. But still, it pisses me off to know that in the event that he did use that word people would naturally assume that he learned it from us, and what's worse is that they may take it out on him when it's really THEIR FAULT FOR TEACHING IT TO HIM! Be sure to read the news story that I linked to my title.


Allie Bear said...

Wow, I can't believe that but I totally know what you mean. My mother is from the south and from that time and she tried to use the word once in front of the kids, I told her I couldn't allow the kids to be around that and she promised to never do it again. I think it helped her to stop saying it altogether. It bothers me to hear anyone say it, its disrespectful and I tell them that.

J said...

I came here via Allie, my BFF, and I have to say I totally agree. My mother was like that when I was younger, until we moved in across the street from a black family. She, needless to say, learned her lesson quickly. I think that if it is such a bad word then no one should use it!

Motherwise said...

I am with you on this one. If it's wrong for some folks to say the "N" word, it's wrong for all.

Damama T said...

I was here right after you did this post, but blogger locked up on me and I got sidetracked. Oh well, you know me- I don't stay gone long! LOL!

My whole paternal extended family used that as everyday language. I quit allowing my sons to go with my parents to visit them. Plus, I threatened my Dad on multiple occasions with banning him from taking them anywhere at all if he didn't cut it out. I had to reteach them ENEY MEENY MINEY MOE with catch a TIGGER by the toe because my dad had taught them the other way and I couldn't break them of liking the rhyming pattern. They actually got spanked a couple of times for repeating it the old way before they learned that Grandad wasn't always right.

All that being said, the best you can do is the best you can do. Continue to teach your sons correctly. Invite a culturally diverse group of people into your home whenever possible so that your children and others can see your values in action. And remember that throughout life your kids will hear things that they are not to repeat. It's just part of growing up for them to have to learn discernment.

I'll be praying for you. xoxoxo