Arrgh...I started the Atkins diet exactly one week ago today. I am technically still in what is called the "Induction" period, which basically means NO YUMMY STUFF AT ALL!!! I will admit that I have never lasted this long on any diet whatsoever, but it's a struggle everyday. My kids love sandwiches and every time I open the bread I get this wonderful whiff of what, to me, smells like fresh, hot baked bread. My husband, who is really the chef of the family, always does all our meat on the grill. I occasionally bake pork chops or chicken and I always do all the roasts, but he's the master of all things grilled. Saturday he put some steaks and shrimp on the grill and I would swear that that steak is the best I have ever had in my entire life!! He says I only said that because I'm dying for some variety, but I'm gonna keep building him up so he'll wanna do some more! I am just clueless when it comes to all the different good, natural foods that I'm allowed on this diet. I didn't grow up eating like he did. He grew up in the country surrounded by farmers of all different types. His mom cooked (and still does when she comes over or we go to her house) HUGE meals with a little bit of everything. Her father was a contractor and they always had workers coming and going so she learned to cook BIG. When I was growing up, we (my sibs and I) spent a lot of time on our own. Our mom worked many, many hours as well as our step-dad so our fridge was always stocked with easy foods like Hot Pockets, frozen burritos and all the junk food you can imagine. I don't ever remember there being much fruit in the house until I hit high school and got on a health food kick. Thus, that was the beginning of my never-ending struggle between the habits that came naturally to me and what my body told me I SHOULD be eating. Unfortunately, that led me down the road of starvation and excessive exercising and non-constructive criticism of my body. I spent many countless hours staring at myself in mirrors from every angle tearing myself apart. I've gotten to an age now that I can say to myself that I've got a really nice figure when I'm thin. That's actually a big step, but the problem is that I'm not thin now.
When my husband left for his fist deployment in 2005 I was pregnant with our third child. Two months later I was in the hospital by myself having a D&C because the baby had died at eight weeks in the womb. I discovered it when I was supposed to be 12 weeks along. So I carried that baby 4 weeks past it's demise. My husband couldn't get leave from Iraq to come home for the procedure so I relied on close friends in my military family to help me with my boys. It was hard, but that, unfortunately, is part of the military life. After the D&C I dropped 30 pounds within 2 months. I believe it was solely related to the loss of the baby and the loss of my husband (though temporary - it still feels like a loss) all at once. My neighbors invited me and my sons to have Easter dinner with them and their family after this weight loss had occurred and one of their friends told me how great I looked and asked how I had done it. I looked at her and plainly said, "I've lost a baby and my soul mate within three months time. Best diet ever." The whole room went quiet and all eyes were on me. I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life. I didn't mean to be rude and I should have just shrugged my shoulders and said playfully,"Stress, I guess." But that was honestly the first thing that fell out of my mouth. Either way, this initial weight loss inspired me to join a gym and try and lose more. When my husband returned from his year long deployment I was ecstatic that he didn't even recognize me!! I had lost a total of 60 pounds! I'll admit, I looked great. It felt great to occasionally turn head again and I could go out and run around with my kids again and not get so worn out that I had to quit early. But then I got pregnant again with Olivia. Thankfully, there were no problems with my pregnancy this time around, but I gained 30 pounds that I have yet to lose. This weight gain was totally different than my pregnancies with my boys in my early 20's. My belly accepted this weight gain in a totally different way and I now have what I call my "fanny pack," which totally went out of style in the 90's. I can't get it gone again and with Olivia's problems in her first few months of life (prematurity, food allergies, allergic colitis) I just never have had the time to get back in the gym again!!! So this is actually my first serious attempt since her birth at losing the weight. It's so hard to keep it up. I have to make two dinners everyday and then I have to salivate over what everyone else is eating while I eat my meat. Blah. I expected to lose some weight in my first week of Induction, but I've got one of those scales that changes depending on which direction you're leaning. You know, you put your weight on your heels and you automatically weigh 10 lbs. less, but lean forward and you get into numbers that make you wanna do jumping jacks right then and there. Ahhh, such is life. I guess I'll go get one of those fancy digital scales, but I'm gonna miss my "leaning back" numbers. Ok, so that's my dieting blurb for today, hope you've enjoyed and maybe you'll have some tips for me along my journey. I'll keep you posted on any weight loss/gain and whether I actually stick to it or not.