Thursday, March 13, 2008

Update on Nathan

For those of you who may not know who Nathan is, here's the original story: How Does This Happen?

Okay, so Nathan is finally out of his body cast and is still in foster care. Family Services wanted him in foster care until they could complete their entire investigation so for the past month and a half he has been bonding with strangers. I'm not mad that he's there - I just wish he could have been with me instead. In the meantime my brother and his stupid girlfriend are up their old tricks. Brad found out Beth has been cheating on him so they broke up for like 4 days. I guess that's all it takes to regain trust in someone. Both of them are supposed to be paying child support, but Brad is the only one working while Beth runs around as she pleases in Brad's car. She won't "let" him take the car anywhere. She makes all the decisions while Brad just puts his head between his knees and takes it. During their little break he called me because we hadn't talked since last summer and he really convinced me that he was done with all the craziness. Unfortunately, Beth has turned up pregnant again and so she's used that to lure him back in. Not to mention, his uncontrollable need to "be with" someone.

Anyway, my sister was FINALLY approved as the ONLY person who could take Nathan. DFCS realized that they did not know who it was that actually hurt him. Angie and her husband were the only ones who had never kept him for any extended period which meant that they were the only people who obviously did not do it. My mom was stupid enough to let Brad convince her to lie to DFCS about where the incident happened. She told them that Nathan was hurt at her house because Brad and Beth were worried that Section 8 would find out he was living at her house and Beth would lose her housing benefits. I yelled lots and lots at Mom for doing this because it was a stupid lie to begin with. They weren't even comparing apples to apples, but when you pile lie upon lie upon lie you become paranoid of everything, so now Mom isn't allowed to be around her own grandson. I told her. I told her. I told her. I even told her to call and tell them that they were lying but she wouldn't. So I dropped it. So this morning they all went to court so that Nathan could be placed with Angie and Jim. Know what happened??? Beth got mad because she doesn't like Angie (because Angie and Jim don't do drugs, drink or go to prison, u know) and her and Brad's attorney requested that Nathan STAY in foster care. The judge plainly looked at Brad and Beth and said, "Okay, let me explain. If Nathan stays in foster care, we will proceed with termination hearings in 15 months. BUT if he stays in family care that time clock stops and you have no worry of actually losing custody of your son. Also remember that the longer he stays in foster care, the stronger the bond he will develop with that family." And how do you think Brad and Beth responded? "We understand and would still like for him to stay in foster care." The judge nodded and set another placement hearing for two weeks from today. My sister and her husband were just dumbfounded. I would have cried, but Angie is much stronger than me. Brad and Beth are just plain evil. Maybe I shouldn't judge. Nope. Evil. Angie didn't say anything in court because she's expecting that Beth is going to try and start trouble during this two week interval so that she can point and say, "See, this is why they shouldn't have the baby." It ultimately boils down to the bottom line: is the court going to continue to pay for foster care when they could place him with family for free? I don't think so. I am literally so mad at my brother that I just laughed when Angie called this morning. The whole thing has become ridiculous. Beth is obviously unstable and Brad is obviously unwilling to leave her. It is my opinion that the court should just proceed with termination and either let me or Angie have him. Do I really need child #4? Nope. Does that really matter? Nope. Will I love him with all my heart and soul? Yep. They just need to do something before his "attachment meter" is all screwed up and he ends up with some serious, serious psychological issues from his parents being idiots.


Allie Bear said...

I am so sorry to hear about all this, I hope that you or your sister end up with Nathan, the poor kid needs a chance. Please update us in 2 weeks to let us know how he is.

J said...

Dear god, what a sad story. I hope that your sister gets custody, that seems only right. And, was I correct reading that Beth is pregnant again? WTF? I will pray for those kids. I hope that everything work out for the best, and please keep us updated.

Damama T said...

Honey, I'm so sorry your family is going through this mess. It is painful all the way around. The bottom line is that Nathan needs to be away from any possible contact with the psycho bit&# and (sorry) your brother. I hate to say this, but the best thing for the baby may be for him to be adopted by a couple that can make him disappear. As hard as this would be on your family, it may be the only way he will ever be allowed to grow up safe and sane. (speaking from personal experience here). As long as Beth can get to him, she will mess with him just like she messes with your brother.

Often, in these situations, the most loving thing we can do for the child is the one thing that is most painful and almost unthinkable. Nobody ever said love, true, unconditional love, was easy, did they?

You and your family are in my prayers. I know in my heart that God will do what is best for Nathan in the long run.