Going against the grain

My husband just got off the phone with his sister and then has the nerve to come to me to complain about her reasons for not talking to him for the last 5 years. Ugh..I don't even wanna talk about it. What is it about all this that I don't get? I can't understand people not accepting people for who they are and just leaving them alone about it. She does not want anything to do with us or Nick's mother....that is obvious to me. They always ask me what I think and I always tell them the same thing...leave her alone. That means don't mail her things, don't leave messages on her phone or email and for god's sake don't call her and start a damn fight. I accept the fact that my brother is making HUGE mistakes in his life and with his daughter. I accept the fact that he is living with a complete psychopath. Does the fact that I no longer intervene and try to talk to him about things mean that I have given up on him or does it mean that I have resigned myself to the fact that he does not want to change? Do we continue swimming against the current after the people that we love or do we accept that we cannot reach them and just watch them float away?